17:35, 04/05/2005

"embrace the randomness..."

So my weblog is now almost exactly six months old and I've realised I'm having a... well I hesitate to use the word crisis, but you make up your own minds. Part of the reason I started the blog last year was because I'd been through a very very difficult few months with my family, involving a serious illness, and I wanted to start something new that I would find involving and stimulating both on a personal and a creative level.

Let me explain further. On a personal level, I very much subscribe to the theory that weblogs are primarily social software. For me the blog's biggest benefit is that I have very fortunately accumulated a blogcloud of very interesting and creative people, many of them bloggers themselves, who come and form discussions around my thoughts, proclamations, findings, dictats, emissions and spewings. This has been brilliant and I'm unbelievably privileged to have got to know you (or got to know you better), Alfie, Atom, Baines, Bill, Bridget, Charlie, Charlotte, Charlotte, Danny, Erika, Frances, Greg, Gwen, Ian, Julius, Kim, Leslie, Lindsay, MIa, Mandy, Nikki, RedboXen, Siobhan, Stassa, Suzannah, Tina, Tom, Warren and many many more.

On a creative level, as I mentioned in an earlier post, I was using my weblog to lever myself out of a slough of apathy and into a "writing" posture. That's been good too, and I hope Askance Glance has (at least so far) been some sort of testament to that. I'm finalising the rough structure of part 5 (which is twice as long as all the others and much more complicated) now, so you should see that soon.

So, "crisis? What crisis?" I hear you ask.

Well, I guess I'm suffering a bit of uncertainty about it.

I'm not sure what exactly I'm trying to do with it any more. Whether it's a showcase of my stuff, or a rambling sort of monologue, or something in between, and whether any of that is of any interest to anyone. And I worry if I should write about more tranny stuff...

(Plus I know that most of my visitors just click straight into the gallery and don't read the posts anyway).

I guess I'm looking for some advice. I think deep down I know what I want to keep on doing, but what do you want to see and discuss on my weblog? It's possible you don't care at all, and I don't give a fuck if no one responds to this post, but I guess I'd be interested in why you come here and have (or don't have) verbal spats with me :)

OK, so I did discuss this briefly with Lindsay last night. She's been such a good friend me and it's her you can blame for getting me into the blogsphere in the first place. I mentioned my pseudoquandary; here's her response when I explained my basic uncertainty and unease at not knowing what the fuck I was meant to be doing and whether anyone cared anyway:

ephemeritis: You are officially a blogger now.

Duhhh. Of course. I should have realised! It went on...

missk69uk: lol
missk69uk: yess! I've arrived!
ephemeritis: I have felt that way about it for a long time. You either have to become comfortable with the randomness or come up with a set theme or abandon it altogether.
missk69uk: I guess it's easiest to come to terms with the randomness
missk69uk: I know that most of my visitors just click straight into the gallery and don't read the posts anyway
missk69uk: So I might as well do whatever I want
ephemeritis: yup
missk69uk: well, that was easy
missk69uk: I should talk to you more
ephemeritis: ahaha
ephemeritis: Yes! You should!

And I should.

But it is that easy isn't it? Embrace the randomness.

We sail on, my friends. We sail on.

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