10:05, 30/11/2005

"Shiny little Christmas buttons"

One of the big bonuses from the weekend's event was I finally managed to get myself captured by photographer to the royal court of the Tranniesphere, April Angell:

photograph © April Angell @ KissMyPanties.com. Used with permission

It's a perceptive image of me, slightly bemused at the meal as I was that night but trying hard to pay attention. I like it a hell of a lot.

Siobhan and I were meandering hungover through the Bullring on the Sunday, after desperately scoffing down a most inefficiently served fry-up to counter the woeful inadequacy of the Ibis' breakfast arrangements (ask Jo), and bumped into April, Angela and Charlotte again.

We both looked like shit, but April told us that we looked like "a pair of shiny little Christmas buttons". No, I have no idea what it means either, but it made us both glow a little bit during our quest for the world's smallest and worst laid out Apple store.

As I've said before, April takes astonishing, well-seen and beautiful photos of our community. Please have a look on her site and her new flickr stream, which kicked off, appropriately, with this event we've been blogging about the last few days.

You have been reading...

"Shiny little Christmas buttons"

In /perusings

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09:55, 28/11/2005

Transpocalypse: smells like victory

Die, thong of evil! It's been cutting me in half all day...

It was Transpocalypse I this weekend. The inaugural UK tranny bloggers' social organised by Becky and based on an original diagram by Siobhan. This is what I remember...

12:37, Saturday 26th November, 2005

Train departs London Euston. Full of screaming kids. Hot air on full blast all the time. Can't breathe. Screaming kids!

booze: Gin & Tonic (buffet car). Water. Is water technically booze? It is now.
food: half a Chicken Caesar wrap bought at Euston. Too much mayo. Gah. Leave rest in seatback pocket.

14:10

Train due into Birmingham New Street. Train actually still somewhere near Coventry.

14:25

Arrived. Walk out of station and straight up into some sort of shopping mall hell FULL of Christmas shoppers. Not good.

Panicky sounding Siobhan phones: "Where are you??" By now, have somehow managed to emerge from the mall down some huge ramp full of people, crushing toes with my luggage.

She's by a taxi rank. I'm by a taxi rank. They're two completely different taxi ranks.

Struggle back up into the mall and wrestle my way back to the station. The exit was right in front of me but had been led by stream of people into hell mall. Doh. Birmingham confusing.

14:40

Siobhan is hungover. Very hungover. Don't feel too clever myself. Siobhan worried that in drunken blogging mistake she might have called someone coming tonight a c**t. Mustn't blog drunk. Mustn't blog drunk...

14:55

Somehow we find hotel. Everything is peach coloured. Especially walls.

Hotel's tagline says: Ibis Hotels: You'll never want to stay anywhere else. May not be 100% truth. Room small. Double bed. Both admit to snoring and apologise in advance.

Siobhan produces bottle of wine. Things looking up. Start to unpack. Looking-upness short lived. In packing panic have somehow managed to FORGET MY WIG!!

Now faced with quandary. Butch dyke look or emeregency wig shopping?

Decide on latter. Becky calls. Have arrived and are in room below us. Get lost finding stairs. Hotel is a maze.

Begin to suspect tagline should be: Ibis Hotels: You'll never leave".

15:10

Find Becky and Jane's room. Becky has been shopping already and has bought skirt (River Is.) and sweater (H&M) Siobhan and I marvel at such derring do.

They are FOLDING CLOTHES AND PUTTING THEM ON SHELVES!!

I'll say that again. They are FOLDING CLOTHES AND PUTTING THEM ON SHELVES!!

While Siobhan and I have been in our room barely 5 minutes and it looks like bombsite. Need booze. Becky suggests meet up at 18:30 in hotel bar for meal at 19:30.

15:20

Hotel bar. Ahhhh. Order wine. Large ones.

Joanna walks in. Figured we'd be in a place with booze. Knows us well. Discuss wigs, George Best. Becky and Jane join us. Starting to get dark. Chinese restaurant just across road. Club for later just round corner. Sounds feasible in pointy hurty shoes.

booze: Merlot (2 large glasses)

16:10

Wig time. Becky has told us of Afro Caribbean hairdresser and wig boutique on hotel street corner. Terrifically handy and in panic mode buy nice brunette wig with chestnut streaks. Little pricy but hey, panic mode...

16:25

Siobhan and Miss K hit the Bullring. Objective: MAC counter at Selfridges. Have only tiny amount of emergency Clinique foundation left. So need MAC.

16:45

Can't find MAC (not trying very hard). Bullring is like a building in Second Life. We walk around counting prims. Siobhan is peckish and buys two spinach pakoras in Selfridges food hall.

I've in a boozy way come to trust in my emergency foundation. All is well... All is well...

17:15

Return to hotel. Over an hour to get ready. No problem! Phone rings. Kim and Ian have arrived. Yay!

They come to our room bearing Freixenet Cava, a half bottle of vodka and a corkscrew for Siobhan's wine...

18:15

...Siobhan is still only half dressed and has lost her second hold up.

I am still dressed in boy clothes and have only done nails and shaved.

Kim and Ian are watching some sort of German Pop Idol type show.

18:30 is looking optimistic...

booze: red wine, Cava. Quantity unknown...

19:15

Feel shabby and rushed as we swish into the hotel bar, which is full of trannies and a few bemused looking residents. Not only do I feel rushed and under-completed, but my low rise jeans are so low that as soon as I sit down, they whoosh down so far that my WHOLE BUM slips neatly out.

Jo takes a look, sucks in air like a car mechanic and advises I wear my wide wooly scarf as a belt for the rest of the evening.

Talk with Rachel and friend and get to know Kim better, but details are hazy by thie stage...

booze: Merlot (large glass, necked down in five minutes)

19:55

Totter across road, pleasantly drunk, towards Chinese restaurant. We stop traffic. Fear and awe. My pointy shoes are hurty!

??:??

Meal passes in a hazy haze. Nice to meet people who I've only seen virtually in the blogsphere. SIobhan and I get through two bottles of Rioja (the second kindly bought by Mr Betteridge). Deteriorating quite rapidly now.

Remember talking to April, whose work I love and possibly insulting her by comparing her to Martin Parr (who I also love). And a brief exchange with Gemma across the table and photo op with Steph Angel.

But I felt incredibly shy and so mostly I stuck in a comfort zone of Siobhan, Ian and Kim whom I know best.

Siobhan had also asked me to hit her if she got too insulting or shouty so stuck close to her :p

But she's OK. I think eating the rose sedated her.

booze: approx. 1 bottle of Rioja
food: very nice, though had chicken wrapped in lettuce disaster when the parcel exploded all over me and table. And there I was thinking I was the Oriental one.

????

Time to club. My feet hurt so much. Correction. Don't hurt at all as I can no longer feel them.

Decide it's time to change. Siobhan and I return to room where I slip on thigh high boots ensemble. Then have dangerous moment when we almost go to sleep.

Luckily several people phone us and we stagger to club with April and Angela who've waited for us in the lobby.

Big gay place called The Nightingale. Not really my kind of place, but I neck a couple of shorts and have a boogie, though gusset of fishnets is forming annoying web below. Also have a brief chat with Charlotte, who is incredibly kind about the Six Inch Killaz stuff I'm currently writing about.

Pull a short bald bloke but send him on his way. Meanwhile Siobhan is having full on liplocking sesh with April and Angela on sofa in front of bar. "Great", I think. Will get bed to self...

Leave soon after with Kim and Ian.

booze: 2 x rum and coke

?????

Fall asleep in my full outfit and make-up. After a swig or two of red wine.

zzzzzzzzzzzz

Sometime afterwards, I hear knock. Siobhan back. Surprised, but we talk a while (a load of bollocks) and then go to sleep.

I snore. She doesn't. Sorry Siobhan.

booze: yes.

08:30

Wake up. Feel shabby.

The wine bottle that was three quarters full is now empty.

You have been reading...

Transpocalypse: smells like victory

In /perusings

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12:08, 13/11/2005

Welcome to the draGnet (2005)

Well, what do you know? While I was on holiday, my first year blogversary passed quietly and without fuss on November 7th. Yay for me, w00t, etc.

For those happening upon this weblog for the first time, allow me to introduce myself and this finally-one-year-old journal. This is me:

The bottomless me

I'm Miss K (not my given name, you understand, more a nom de plume, or a nom de travesti, if you like) and I like to describe myself as a transgendered z-list celebrity. This isn't just because I don't get invited to the sort of parties that even c-list celebs get invited to, but also because my name has gained a certain, faded repute, probably due to my huge age and the fact that I've had a well known website for quite a large portion of the time I took reaching my current, aforementioned, huge age.

And also because of Six Inch Killaz, my old band, which I guess is as fine and tawdry a claim to fame as you might wish for. I'm part way through writing a personal memoir of my time with the KIllaz.

You can also read through a clearing list of links that I maintain at the old Killaz homepage for more info and one or two interviews I've done that focus on my time in the Killaz. All I will say now is that we never talked to Alan McGee about signing for Creation Records, and Jasmine never felt up Liam Gallagher at one of our gigs. And that's the truth.

I started this weblog about a year ago as I wanted an outlet for my ideas. I'm very much an ideas person and I'm often guilty of not letting those ideas out, and I thought the weblog form was a really good way of airing some (especially the writerly ones) I had and holding them up to scrutiny.

A few highlights on this blog:

~~The drop down menu on the top right of each screen gives you quick access to a few of the categories.~~
~~I've put some of my favourite pieces of writing into an archive, which I maintain, water and prune every now and then;~~ I am particularly pleased with some of the creative writing.
For those interested in pics of trannies, I post photos of myself and my friends in the EyeCandy category, including the Miss Monday feature which aims to put a smile on your face at the beginning of each week.
My hailed and appreciated webcomic, Askance Glance is also published on this blog. I will finish the much delayed part five one day. I promise!
I use the still marvellous flickr to keep my photography in order. Why not check out my photostream? I crave comments, especially on my non tranny stuff. I also co-founded the trannyflickr group with Erika Baarova, which is a lot of fun.
David and the Birds is my favourite piece of writing from the first year.

In real life I co-own a company who specialise in designing and building websites, predominantly content managed ones of a certain complexity. I'm also in a band, Electric Shocks. I think a few copies of our debut album are still available.

(cough. birthday, cough. 19th December. cough. Wishlist in sidebar, cough...)

Seriously, I've really enjoyed the first year of the draGnet and I'd reeeeally like to thank all the friends who've read and commented on my musings so far.

I'm especially indebted to my good friend Lindsay who helped me work out what I wanted from my blog - she's a hugely talented writer and total lunatic. Go and say hello! Also a big thanks to Erika who gave me a lot of criticism and support when I was putting the thing together at the start.

Anyway, as you already know if you follow my weblog, what I mainly do is write about a whole bunch of crap and rubbish, even occasionally about transgendered stuff. I even did some make-up tips once!

I hope you enjoy it. I certainly do.

You have been reading...

Welcome to the draGnet (2005)

In /about